wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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