I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
