i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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