dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize