what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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