Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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