Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
