One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
you traded sex for a burrito?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize