do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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