id be glad to
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
