Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
