Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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