THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
