just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My feet surprised me
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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