great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
