We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
