id be glad to
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
