i already hear my dad disowning me
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Randomize
