A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
