Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
