its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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