RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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