I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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