Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
