You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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