well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
