its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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