addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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