Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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