Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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