you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
