I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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