My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Less talking, more tequila
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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