3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize