P.S. I can't hear my feet
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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