Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
worst night to have a conscience
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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