Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
