i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
