my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I am naked and annoyed.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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