i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
