4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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