did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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