She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
