you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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