I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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