i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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