so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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