It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
