We got so high we made milksteak
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
