my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
