so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize