drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
