I think I am morally bankrupt
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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