he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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