One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
