had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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